Mony-Eco would love this...

Five years ago, I saved hundreds of New Yorkers from a 60-foot ravenous beast by shooting it in the chest with a rifle.

After the kill, the screaming passengers never stopped me from a perfect landing into Roosevelt Island station, with not so much as a scratch on my police badge. Crying children thanked me for saving them from this mammoth being, while grown men shook from the shock of the experience. You see - I was Captain Mony and it was my job to evacuate hundreds of tourists daily from King Kong at Universal Studios Orlando (not to be confused with Universal Studios Tokyo).

The amount of "reconstructed” and “hyperealistic details” on the Kong Experience was nauseating. As the “robots” entered the “maze of metal railings”, the smell of propane, the censored graffiti, and the strategically placed litter would suddenly transport them to NYC. The tourists were amazed over this. I would overhear them commenting on how “realistic” the setting was, and what a good job Universal did at replicating New York
Even some New Yorkers were astounded at what Eco would call the "reconstructed truth”. The real truth is that they spent thousands of dollars and two hours in line just to see a reproduction of home. But what attracts the crowds the most is what Baudrillard said" is without a doubt the social microcosm, the religious, miniaturized pleasure of real America."

The “Animatronic” Kong would have “technical difficulties” daily. This is probably why the ride has now been replaced with The Mummy. His body parts were constantly deflating and the guides would have to play it off like he had been shot in those areas. On one of my rides, Kong’s nipple just popped off. In my headphones I was told to act like Kong was sick. Hmm, with what- Gorilla de-nippiling disease. I laughed hysterically and was fired the next day.

I would much rather be stuck in the reality of I-4 traffic, and then working on the days when the “absolute iconism” of Kong would malfunction. These were the days when a place of ‘total passivity” turned to a place of pissed off tourists.

I wish that Eco had been on the "nipple" ride with me -we would have had a good laugh.