sardine -- pre-10/23 -- derrida

“If I put to death or grant death to what I hate it is not a sacrifice. I must sacrifice what I love. I must come to hate what I love, in the same moment, at the instant of granting death. I must hate and betray my own, that is to say offer the gift of death by means of a sacrifice, not insofar as I hate them, that would be too easy, but insofar as I love them. I must hate them insofar as I love them. Hate wouldn’t be hate if it only hated the hateful, that would be too easy. It must hate and betray what is most loveable. Hate cannot be hate, it can only be the sacrifice of love to love. It is not a matter of hating, betraying by one’s breach of trust, or offering the gift of death to what one doesn’t love” (Derrida, 225).

Um… yes… What? I’ll just sit here in the corner and scrape the gum off my shoe. Maybe Derrida should have written for Hallmark? How would the above seem for a Valentine’s card for one’s beloved?

I can’t deal with Derrida’s hate and love issues. I am having too many tick nightmares. Yes, ticks. My children’s dog is infested with ticks, and she came in the house with at least two hundred of them. I’d like to sacrifice the dog that I now hate and love, but the ticks are the problem. And I am pulling those pests off myself and the children. I am feeling them climbing on me. They look like tiny spiders before they attach. Then they blow up like grapes. They actually pop if you step on them and explode blood.

My children love their dog. Personally, I prefer cats. But now we have new pets, the pests. I hate them. I hate them. I called the bug man. I don’t do pesticides. I hate them too. Rearrange your DNA for eternity. Warp the family tree. Exterminate yourself. My yard was the only one in the neighborhood without the pesticides, and the pests came to us. I called the bug man to deal with the ticks, and he sprayed. And he will have to re-spray in one week when the eggs hatch, or it will begin anew.

I sprayed the dog. I sprayed the yard. I sacrificed the pests, my yard, my children, myself, and my pet. I love them. I hate them. I just pulled two off me and drown them in rubbing alcohol. I am giving them the death.

I give up! Gut me like a goat and sacrifice my carcass to the eternal absent center!